I've decided to no longer write in my personal blog, or use it extremely sparingly. For the simple reason that there is nothing that I want to keep hidden from others. If its meant to be hidden, it'll remain in my head. If its good enough to be on the other blog, its good enough to be over here. Some of my best friends come here, and they should know the kind of person I am, and the kind of thoughts I think.

Today, after a really intense talk about believing in ones'self and leaving the past behind, I was feeling quite good about myself. I really felt that I just might be able to not look back, and continue walking forward like I had so boldly proclaimed. Unfortunately, the past has a sadistic way of rearing its ugly head when you least want it to. And life, hehe! Life has a vendetta against you, all its own. One you can see, one you can feel, but can do nothing to avoid.

Strange are the ways of the world. When you want someone to remain in your life, the world conspires to pull them away from you. When you want them to go as far from you as is possible, the world makes you run into them at the oddest moments. Why does something that belongs to you, cause you so much pain? If things are not meant to be, then why persist? If things are meant to be, then why resist? Why does everything have to fall apart together? It is in these times that one looks for comfort amongst the known. But I, am different. I run away from them. I walk away to protect them from seeing me in that state. I want to be there for them, not want them to see that I too can be hurt. But saying it here, I guess brings it to the open that yes, I do feel pain.

The past refuses to stay buried, and the future refuses to shine. Everything is right, yet things seem so wrong. All I can do in times like this, is brace myself; look up at the world, and hold on ... and hold on...