Thought That Counts

because heavy is the head that wears the crown

Too perfect!
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Wednesday, May 31, 2006

True perfection is imperfect. Atleast, thats what I've heard from people. People say I'm a perfectionist. I agree with them most of the time, since I know I have the habit of pointing out the little squiggles which really bake my noodle! I manage to see the smalles of details and ask people to correct them, which, in the real world wouldn't make a difference to anyone on earth.

Every heard of the phrase 'too perfect'? Its mostly used with people and relationships. You might say that two people are 'too perfect' for each other, or the relationship is just 'too good' or something synonymous. I felt that way about someone, that whatever we had was just too perfect. Perfect understanding, perfect care. How could it be? Maybe there is a squiggle that I can't see yet ... maybe there isn't. Who knows! But the thing is, that I'm really happy with wherever I am in life at the moment. Two setbacks later, I am good again.

Chinese Proverb Even the best needles are not sharp at both ends.

Dependency is such a bad thing. More than bad, it creates myriad insecurities and doesn't fail to scare. If you're dependent on someone, you cannot be perfect. Ofcourse, here I take the argument that perfection is a mark which can reached. The first way to be really good at something you do, is not to be dependent on anyone. If you are, you'll be restricted by their skill which may or may not be better than you. To be perfect you have to be better than everybody else, and you can't be better than someone if you're dependent on them. So yes, we come a full circle.

Anyway, I just put this up to get a subtle hint out, so that I can show something to a few people, and my new offset quoting box (the black box). I got the idea off Blogfresh's post (Sidenotes and Textboxes), so do tell me what you think!

The art of hope!
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006

We have always seen that the easiest thing to lose is the one which is usually safgaurded the most. But then why isn't it the same for human feelings? Trust, hope, faith... All these are so easy to lose when things are not going right, but then why don't we try to hold on them when we see ourselves losing them? Many of us need a second person to show us the light when we're down, and see the ways of the world. When you need someone there, you'll find someone there. But only as long as you're willing to wipe your tears and see clearly around you.
Martin Luther KingWe must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

Life finds a way, through everything. No matter how deep the water, how dark the road. How hard the task, how lonely the path. You'll get help when you need it the most, and you'll be foolish to refuse it. People let their ego's and so called 'self-respect' (which is often confused for ego) get in the way. Help doesn't come unasked for, and if it does, why turn away?

Nothing can be done if you don't have hope. Hope is the positivity that you keep when you move forward, that everything you do will work out fine and the results will be good. If you say that you don't expect good results out of what you do, then you are either a) a complete idiot, or b) lying. Everyone has hopes, its part of being human. So, since you do have hopes, don't let mild setbacks get you down. Yes! I call them mild setbacks, because anything that doesn't physically disable you or kill you, is a mild setback since it can be worked around. Nothing is so big that it cannot be fixed, always remember that.

Long story short, have hopes, and please don't give up on them! I've been praised for my structured posts, so if this one isn't, please forgive me. My thoughts are so, the bhel puri I'm having is very spicy! :P

Simplify your life!
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Sunday, May 21, 2006

There is a certain beauty in simplicity. Anything when simplified makes more sense, seems more attractive. It appears much more beautiful than it would have otherwise. You face it everyday, but don't think twice about it. A gentle smile from someone, a little wave. A baby (a really small one) walking, or an autumn leaf floating down from a tree. Just the simple things in life..

It is simplicity that is hard to achieve. Its very easy to complicate something beyond recognition. Many people do that, and when towards the end they see how ridiculously hard it has become, they give up. They forget that that simple thing could have been kept simple. Its all in the head. If the mind has been trained to remain methodical, it'll do so everywhere. Its how you see things, how you work with them.

The simplest of emotions are the most complicated of them all. Why? Because our minds get in the way. Emotions are always associated with the heart. I'm not getting into the debate on heart and mind again, but if you see the simplicity of the heart against the complexity of the mind, you'll see how relationships change. If I say to someone that I love them, in me, I leave it at that. I don't expect them to return it, or even try to feel anything for me. They don't understand that and hence while trying to feel a certain way, they forget to simply be friends. Love doesn't get in the way, love is the way. There is no way you can compare love, and I realised that after Sita told me. It became easier to deal with the relationship once I realised that I was forgetting the simplest thing, that I loved her (not Sita, someone else! :P). Thats what you need to do too.

If somewhere you have a relationship which is not working, or not happening, sit down and think. Think how it all started. What all you felt when it started, and what was the basic thing that drove it. Try and bring it back. If the other person tries the same thing, it'll work again. If they don't, then you're better off spending time on more things, in better ways. The same goes for everything you do. A logical approach is much better than a reactionary one. Look before you leap, and you shall leap smart!

And the truth is ... I miss you!
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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Ever felt your heart cry? Everything about you is fine, but still there is a lurking sadness in you mind. Something seems amiss. Images play out in front of your eyes. They seem so real that you could touch them if you put out your hand, yet you know they aren't true. You know you're not going crazy, yet you feel nothing you feel right now is reality.

Its so strange that the one who gives the hurt, usually gives the cure to fix it. Somehow or the other, every pain is faded out of ones life. But what if on pain just refuses to go! It refuses to be fixed, refuses to be pacified. All it wants to do, is sit there and feel bad about what happened. It pulls in the beautiful memories, as well as the bad ones. Most of the time, your pain is silent. But sometimes, it reacts which such violent fury that you are bombarded with all kinds of memories, and before you can realise what happened, they're gone. You feel like you've just woken up from a dream, a lone face lingers in your eyes and a mild ache set in your heart. You're afraid of closing your eyes. Scared of what you might see.

They say love is blind. The problem here is that the eyes see her everywhere they look. Every word spoken feels like they've been said before, and every song heard reminds the mind of those beautiful days gone by, which might never return. The eyes cry to see that face again. The fingers hurt to feel that hair again. The ears ache to hear that voice and laugh again. The mind tries to think the good things again. But all fall to the ground, broken in a million pieces, with each shard threatening to puncture you if you shall tread them.

Please come back ... i sit here broken without you...

Along the long road...
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Saturday, May 13, 2006

Have you ever felt the little smile creeping on your face when you hear someone's voice? Have you ever wanted to see someone, and just go on looking at them? Have you ever sat next to someone, and never wanted to move? Have you ever been in love?

It is something which is honestly worth thinking. Some people I know think that there is a certain age, time, space, situation ... in short and scientific terms ... a specific system, within which love can come into existence. They believe there is a right time, right place to love. Some even think that they can fight love if they want to, and not fall in love with anyone till they are ready. Do you agree with them? Do you really think you can fight that feeling which every person dreams and wants to feel? Am I asking too many questions? Is this getting annoying?

There is no courage in being in love, or loving someone for a long time and not want anything back from them. There is no courage in proclaiming your love for someone. Courage lies in true love. The one which cares from the heart and soul. The one which will truly give anything just to have that person in its life. Fighting love is the easier thing to do. Maintaining it is the hardest. People don't even realise how they come into someone's life, change it, and walk out ... just like that! I've seen this and truly believe in this now. No person can understand how much they are loved by another. Be it their parents, siblings, relatives, or partner. They can't. They can understand how much they love them, but not the other way around. What really bakes my noodle is when they don't believe they are being loved enough! But thats a different story.

Never restrict yourself just because you believe in something. If you think you're too small to love, what is there to stop you from saying you're too small to misunderstand that belief? What is there which says you're wrong to be in love just because you're not (insert age you think is small)? C'mon! Those who say that need to grow up themselves. Get up and smell the roses. Humans are the most complicated beings on earth, and it takes long enough for one to understand themselves. It'll take longer to understand what they feel and if they're right in feeling it. Take things as they come. Just don't shut yourself to change. If you are as young as you say, then you should be learning right now and not making up rules. Life rarely repeats a lesson twice. Learn to listen, and listen good!

The chalk is on the board!

Survey, A Good One!
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Friday, May 12, 2006

You know how surveys are always such a bore? Well the only survey I’ve ever associated with a not-unpleasant experience was one I came across a few years ago in school. Basically, the survey was conducted on university students asking them what their ambition/goal in life was. The investigations were continued to check up on the students over a 10-year period (long, eh?). And guess what they found? Those whose ambition/goal was to simply be happy in life turned out to be the most likely candidates for becoming millionaires, as many of the few who had that answer, did. Interesting? I think so!

If anything, that survey only helped to clarify in my own mind, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming big, but in terms of happiness rather than directly in terms of money, fame or other worldly material desires. However, I am aware that most people are more ambitious and specific than myself in terms of what they want to achieve in life. For me, it is indeed lasting happiness; the fact that I’d like to think I know something about what particular things will assure me some amount of happiness in life, such as career and lifestyle, is perfectly acceptable at the same time and will not be considered as being specifically ambitious by me. So, moral of the story: always strive for happiness, your chances of gaining it are much higher if you work toward it rather than something else. :)

Positive to negative, negative to positive
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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thats how what we were taught to make batteries work in different applications. We've always heard the age old phrase that opposites attract. I used to believe in it too, and I still do. But that particular line isn't completely accurate when it comes to real world scenarios. There have been people in my life who are complete opposites. There has been a fair bit of attraction between us (from both ends), but at the end of the day, none of them have actually worked out.

The thought process doesn't match. They collide like lava to flowing glaciers. Neither of us can understand why the other is doing something. Nor do we understand why the other feels a certain way or says things. It becomes so hard to understand where one stands with that person simply because our mind cannot comprehend what they are doing and form logical pattern chains linking them together. Which pulls many to think that the other is wrong, but bound by the relationship they cannot say anything. Is such a relationship worth it?

When a relationship prone to complications is limited to friendship, its manageable. It might be even fun because the two are friends without knowing whats going on in each others lives. They do tend to work. But anything more serious than that, and they'll be wading into treacherous waters. Ego's will clash, personalities will clash, and after the initial spark has worn off, there'll be nothing to keep the two together. And the initial spark wears off too soon when the people don't think alike. One can't love another when they don't agree with them, and that will happen if they are opposites.

For two people to co-exist together, traits within them have to match. If not all, atleast most. Thats what makes great friends too, and thats what makes a perfect partner. One who understands you, one who gets you and things you do. One who can correct you keeping your thoughts in mind. Its hard to find such people, true. But if you imagine your life surrounded by likeminded people, don't you the efforts you put in will be worth it someday?

So, don't try to get close to people who are so not for you. If it happens unconsciously, don't fight it. But if it doesn't, don't try to make it happen. Sometimes the attraction becomes too strong to keep under control. In those situations, all you can do is not expect anything from the other person, because it's not fair to them. Keep your feelings to yourself, or maximum you can do is tell them, but no expect anything in return. Because you might be attracted to them, they might not be to you. You should respect the difference, and move ahead in a relationship keeping that in mind.

Opposites attract, yes! But more often than not, they just don't work!

As I let you go
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006

There are times when things seem perfect. There are times when things seem wrong. Everybody gives signals, as does everything on earth as to if its going well or not. Its upto us to see and accept, or blindsight everything because we feel or think a certain way. What am I talking about? Read on!

There's this story about how once a farmer was told to pick out and bring the best crop he had every reaped, however, once he had crossed a patch he couldn't come back. In effect, he could only go forward. So the farmer thought this was easy, and set off. He went through his lush green fields, looking at all the crops. He encountered many really good ones, but always thought what if the next one was better. In his curiosity, he reached the abrupt end of his field, and he came back empty handed...

Opportunities present themselves when the time is right. But life is not that simple, since opportunities are masked and disguised so that they're hard to spot. Because once spotted, the rewards are great. But only when spotted. Thats why you should be brave to take stands, and flexible enough to bend either side. Only then will you be able to enjoy life, and live without fears. If you hesitate when the time is right, you'll miss your chance.

Such are the justifications I give myself whenever the thought of what I did rise to confront me. It maybe wrong, it may be overused, or even downright immature. But I did what I saw was right, when I saw was right. I didn't want to end up looking for my best crop and end up empty handed, or in something that I didn't want to be in. Not now atleast! When my own life lies around swirling winds, not sure when it'll be flung to which direction. Can't drag another with me, especially someone I care about so much. I'm sorry for what I did. Wish I could make it better or easier for you. That's all I can say, as I let you go...

The Zookeeper's Boy
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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

I have been listening to that song the whole morning today, and it's also up as my Song of the Day. There just something about that song which makes me feel like I'm actually flying, falling through an endless chasm of blue and black, spinning like a top to such speeds where it blurs reality and conscience, yet not make you nauseous. Ever had that feeling?

I've never had that feeling except when I'm listening to music, and it so happens that music is my miracle drug that's just the high and not the pill. When something is such an integral part of one's life, its hard to live by anything else. Its so heartening to have a partner who respects your love for something other than them, and eggs you on to live by it. Its so nice to be in love. Ofcourse, I don't mean the in the moment crush that so many people mistake for love. I mean something which matches my love for Devika, and my love for music. When you learn to love like that, you realise that you've reached an elevated place quite unlike any other that you've gone to yet. You feel, strangely, pseudo-enlightened. It gives you a false sense of what enlightenment might mean. I don't think I'm making much sense here at the moment, but listen to that song a few times, and then read this. Maybe you'll understand what I'm feeling.

The beauty truly lies in the eyes of the beholder. The creator just creates with one idea. Revolutionary, yes! But singular nonetheless. The observer is the one who gives its existence meaning. He is the one who realises the potential and how it can be used. This doesn't make the creator any less great. After all, without a creation, there would be no observer! Such is the case with music. The one who creates might create it with just one thought in mind. But the listener is that one who can truly appreciate what the song can do. This can only happen when the listener is open minded, and lets the music engulf him. One's who restrict themselves and never even try, prejudiced that they won't like it, deny themselves true nirvana. They will never lose themselves to anything, for they won't understand the true euphoria of feeling something new, and letting it take over every nerve and feeling in one's body. They may admire, but will can never worship. They can praise, but will never feel. They may care, but will never love.

I pity those who don't love, for fear of being hurt. There's a unique sanctuary in pain too. You should be ready to face it, and you'll realise it doesn't hurt that much. Every hurt can heal, which is nature's holy plan. No one was meant to suffer forever, and no euphoria was meant to last eternally. Accept what you face when you face it. Enjoy when you can, mourne when you should. Never let your feelings overlap, for then you'll not appreciate how they affect your life and your mind. Never fight your feelings, they exist to be your guide. Never make yourself feel a certain way, because you know its wrong and untrue.

The more you force, the more wrong you go. Whatever happens without effort, is usually whats right. What happens because of effort, is usually supposed to teach you something...

Can You Really Blame 'Em?
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This is a very poorly written poem I desperately came up with for an English assignment once. I only present it to you here because of the message it (hopefully) carries. Search and you shall find, although I think I made it pretty obvious!

'It's In The Genes'

'It's in the genes' they say.
Whether a person is
Generous, or miserly
Talented, or worthless
Beautiful, or ugly…

If 'It's in the genes' as they say
What's there to be proud of?
And what cause for shame?
What is there to envy?
And what's there to claim?

'It's in the genes' they should say
When he flares into a temper
Or she orders them around
When they rise above the rest
And leave us on the ground.

'It's in the genes' they rightly say
And nothing in our hands;
For what do we strive then?
To share what we have
And receive once again.

The moral of the story is basically that there is no point whatsoever in belittling or blaming people for something they naturally lack or in giving them unreasonable credit for something they naturally possess. Only when we 'strive' to do something beyond our natural abilities or strive to overcome our natural faults is there something truly worth praise. The rest is worth respect and appreciation, but not much more. I find this way of thinking helps me keep myself and the world in perspective, not favoring an unhealthy amount of pride (or arrogance) because of the good, or contempt and intolerance toward the bad.

(PS: Please keep in mind though that I'm only referring to people we encounter in ordinarily life, not the people behind horrible systems, backward mentalities or terrorist attacks; I will not dare deny that they are thoroughly to blame for their actions!)

- Ekta