The seeds of human interactions
Fundamental and unintentional actions are somehow interpreted to mean such big and consequential things. It doesn't help when deluded person doesn't want to be convinced that its nothing. They can only think / want to think that the other person is not being entirely truthful, which furthur strengthens their belief that something is wrong. It forms a vicious circle, you see. One that ends up destroying great friendships if not checked or fixed early on. I find it saddening to see it happen to one of my friends, especially when all my attempts at putting them to ease have been futile.
Why is the human tendency to doubt so strong? Why can't they just trust for once, and let someone else handle their life? Things are not as bad they usually seem, and what one person does in their own life, as long as it doesn't entwin you in controversy, shouldn't affect what you have with that person. Everyone has their circle, you being just an arc from the circumference. You must respect how they behave with their own friends, because they trust them. Won't you feel wrong if someone told you what you should, and should not talk about with your own friends? If I can trust my own friends, why can't you? Especially if you trust me...
Its surprising how people today are born with the idea that trust no-one except yourself. Hurts, which are not meant to be hurts, are taken so badly that the mind freezes to new acquaintances, not seeing that it made a mistake in the first place. I was that scared a couple of weeks ago, remembering how my transition to my new school had faired, and how I was going to go off to a whole new environment all over again (for college). But I realised that running away from people is not the solution. The solution is to be with more people, so that I can see how different people are on earth. The best defence a person might have against the world is experience. Its very easy to put faith, get close to someone without knowing them, and then blaming when the trust is broken. Its harder to put that faith, get that close to someone without knowing them, and then learn them while making mistakes. Whenever someone makes a mistake, they'll get hurt (whether themselves or someone else). That's how life works. That hurt is what pushes us to not make the mistake again. But to run away just so that you avoid getting hurt? No, that is just wrong. Running away from anything, is plain and simple wrong. As they say, "You can run, but you can't hide."
If you don't face it today, you'll have to face it tomorrow. All you're doing is procrastinating, trying to postpone the inevitable and hence, prolonging the hurt. You can avoid the hurt altogether, by being smart about it. After all, the learning part is never the fun part. So, try and learn something new today. Don't be afraid to make a mistake, or get hurt if its not something you wanted or liked. You might be making the same mistake again without knowing it...!
I use a fairly simple trick.
First of all,
it's never my fault, it's not my problem. I'm not going to get used to anyone or change my ways. Life is much to short for that. I always make fun of people who say I should change. I joke: How dare you! Stop asking things like that! Please change your own ways not mine? hahaha But I don't mean that. Attention is always attention.
For the Second reason,
You can only observe something if you don't change it. The moment you change it it's gone. Almost anything or anyone is nice to see if you take a close look at it/her/him. People who demand to see changes should learn to look harder.
The moment a person has to change they are no-longer themselves but pretending they are something they are not. I hope anyone I know acts like their unmoderated self.
No, I insist they do! hahahaha
If they want to run away from me, that's their loss :)
By http://categories.blogspot.com/, at 1:22 AM
Nice to have you here Gaby! Although whatever you said, it might get across that you might not have interacted with a lot of people. You cannot always live by the 'live and let live' rule, since sometime or the other, you have to change.
After all, how do you know that what you're doing, or the way you're living is not wrong? No one is perfect that way, and no-one's way of living foolproof. If you become so rigid about change, you might be stopping yourself from correcting mistakes that you might be making. (Not saying you are).
I do believe that one person shouldn't change just to be with someone else. That's being unfair on both, and I'll agree with you there! I unfortunately learnt this the hard way, and suffered for a big 2 years because of it. But I've learnt now, and hence I mentioned the weapon of 'experience'.
Thanks for dropping by! Hope to see you around here more! :-P
By Aditya, at 1:35 AM